Folks, this is Bertram Buck. The following items are the truths as I know them about Bertram Buck:
He lives back in the woods you see, just the woman, the kids, the dog and him.
He has a shotgun, a rifle and a four wheel drive.
He can plow a field all day long.
He can catch catfish from dusk to dawn.
He can make his own whiskey and his own smoke too (chew actually).
He grows good old tomatoes and homemade wine.
He can skin a buck.
He can run a trot-line.
He says Grace.
He says Ma'am.
He will survive.